Today's offering is a collection of thoughts and observations … another slice of my life.
• The new Beer Store opened on Yonge Street in my neighbourhood this week and I regret to say it failed my test for a new business.
My expectations for a new outlet of any kind are fairly basic. I expect to be served quickly and efficiently and I presume the business will have in stock the product I wish to purchase. The Beer Store passed one requirement and failed miserably on the other.
The service was speedy and pleasant. I asked for a dozen Dos Equis a Mexican lager that tantalized my taste buds on trips to the Mayan Riviera. They didn't have any in stock and the store opened only two days prior to my visit. I doubt they were flooded with requests for a Mexican beer in two days. My second choice was Pabst Blue Ribbon Honey, which happened to sport a great price.
Sorry again. Not in stock. I reluctantly settled for Miller Lite.
The woman behind me in line ordered Bud king cans. Nope, not today, she was told.
I think I know why we were blown off without any apology other than, "Sorry, I'm just the messenger." Because the Beer Store is a monopoly. If you are dissatisfied with the service or the inventory, you can always pick up a six-pack of nonalcoholic suds at the supermarket. It's almost enough to make me boycott the place … almost, but not quite.
• On the other hand, the other new booze outlet to open in the neighbourhood, The Liquor Store on Big Bay Point Road, is a wonderful establishment, with shelves full of colourful and tasty concoctions. I may even apply for part-time work there when I retire.
• You may have noticed that sellers of alcoholic beverages frequently remind you to drink responsibly. It's their way of easing their conscience while at the same time selling a product that is arguably as dangerous to our health as cigarettes, road tar and pig fat. I wondered what was responsible about the poster in the window of The Beer Store that reads, "Ale. Making wedding speeches more interesting since 1402." Cute, and probably accurate. But perhaps not really responsible.
• While I'm on the topic, I think every good bar needs a computer hooked to the Internet. Its Google link would resolve debates about sports records and provide the answer to that puzzler: "Who played June Cleaver in Leave It To Beaver?"
• Have you noticed the beer ads in pub washrooms? A current poster reminds me as I stand at the urinal that there is an unwritten code in Canada. A true Canadian, it alleges, does not talk during another country's national anthem. We shovel our neighbour's driveway because we feel like it. We don’t talk about work on a long weekend.
We have said "Sorry!" after someone bumps into us. We have never ended an e-mail with a smiley face (don't you wish that was true?). We put a loonie on the pool table to claim the next game. (I prefer to keep winning, which guarantees my participation in the next game.) We don't need lighter fluid to start a fire. (Who uses lighter fluid when the car comes loaded with gasoline?)
I enjoyed the ad copy, but it won't make me switch to their beer.
• Finally, the best e-mail I received this week came from my brother-in-law Mike, always a source of snippets of web wisdom. It reads: "To all my friends and family who in 2007 sent me 'best wishes', 'chain letters', 'angel letters,' or other promises of good luck if I forwarded whatever it was they sent me … none of that S..T worked! For 2008, could you please just send money, beer, chocolate or gasoline vouchers?"
